On Consistency + Self Care

“It’s been a while since I’ve posted.” Have you read that one before on here? I always feel so guilty when it’s months between posts but I’m often not sure what to write about. Everyone makes dinner, works hard, is balancing a million things. Instagram, if anything, has turned into my little scrapbook. A much easier (and lazier) way of sharing than actually taking the time to sit down, focus, and write.

A blog is such a strange medium when the intent isn’t for it to be a full time gig. The last thing I want to do is produce content for the sake of content. Over the last few weeks I’ve revisited old posts to get a sense of theme and purpose. Also, to get motivated to write and develop more. In a lot of my writing, specifically around this season, two main themes emerge: self-care and consistency.

Self care, especially as a new mom, is critical. I would argue, even more so when you’re working full time. When I was pregnant with Ben, I wrote about slowing down and making time for my pregnancy. Now that I’m a mother, I realize that I need to slow down and make time for me. Time for myself outside of Ben, outside of being a wife, outside of work. I’m sure it sounds selfish to some but I’m learning that without self fulfillment and alone time, there is no quality time with the baby. Almost eight months into motherhood, it makes sense to revisit the conversation.

me and ben.jpg

As a full-time working mama, it’s super easy to slide into a bizarre routine of taking care of everything and everyone except yourself. I say “bizarre” very intentionally. When you take a minute to really think it through - making yourself your own last priority is insane. This is not to say that baby doesn’t come first. Not at all. I’m just learning that I don’t need to come last. It’s so easy to fall into coasting on old and unhealthy behavior. After all, it’s what comes most naturally. For me, that’s keeping busy with a million little things that I insist “have to get done right now!”. Then the big things get all muddled and all over the place. With all that, time to recharge rarely enters the equation. Clearly, not a sustainable solution. This is all to say, it hit me like a ton of bricks that making time for myself is a “to-do” as worthy as vacuuming and doing dishes.

When I first returned to work, a friend told me that I will very quickly fall into a rhythm of “burning the candle at both ends”. This is dangerous territory. Another mentioned how every working mother hits a point in the first six months where she will, “feel like she’s absolutely shit at both - work and motherhood". I’ve found each of these statements to be one hundred percent true. Work is full time and motherhood is full time. Instead of fully focusing on playing with Ben, I am thinking about the next ten things that need to be cleaned or finished. The day to day feels like a hamster wheel. I am so burned out. Again. Time for a full stop.

So, this is where consistency comes in. Resolving to practice the things I’ve written about. Consistency around making time for things outside of to-do lists. Prioritizing and actually carving out time for things I want to do. Summed up, all recharging means making time for just me. Nothing else.

In my next post, my resolutions, made before the New Year because that’s just a date. The holiday break is just a few days away. What better time than that to deep dive into some reflection and self care?

i sat down to write this and drank a latte by myself last week. felt like freaking champ.

i sat down to write this and drank a latte by myself last week. felt like freaking champ.